The ADB Mailbag: Christmas Edition

While we appreciate the 281 questions about Kevin Ollie’s job status, we’re going to save that topic for the new year. Instead, here’s some other stuff…

Remember: If your question wasn’t answered or you’ve been living under a rock and are just hearing about this, you can submit your questions here or on Twitter (@ADimeBack).

Dave asks: Which classic Christmas movies would be improved by remaking them with Calhoun or Ollie in the starring roles?

A Christmas Story: The first and most obvious answer, we recast Calhoun as the dad in A Christmas Story. Let’s give the fake swearing a delightful Boston accent.

Miracle on 34th Street: If we put Calhoun in this one, it would certainly have a different flavor, though I think Geno might be a more believable Santa because he just keeps giving us presents.

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Home Alone: Ollie as Kevin McAllister, because he looks sort of lost and left behind

Elf: Geno in the James Caan role, which I guess makes Ally Auriemma Will Ferrell? Checks out.

Die Hard: AD David Benedict as John McClane trying to save everyone at the party/the entire UConn athletic department.

It’s A Wonderful Life: Chris Dailey as George Bailey and honestly that works so well we should try to make it happen for real.

A Christmas Carol: Jeff Hathaway as Scrooge and Calhoun, Ollie and Steve Pikiell as the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future, respectively.

White Christmas: Ray Reid and Jim Penders in the Bing Crosby and Danny Kay roles, which means Nancy Stevens is Rosemary Clooney (all class) and Katie Woods is Vera-Ellen

— Meghan Bard

Wet Husky asks: Will our basketball team kill my desire to watch Uconn? Also, after I complained about Brimah last year, does everyone else miss him as much as I do?

1. In the short-term, maybe. If Ollie needs to be replaced, they can’t miss on their next head coach. If they do, I’m not sure what the future of this athletic department will look like.

2. Brimah was absolutely better than any of the big men on this team, so you should miss him. There have been a lot of incredibly ineffective minutes played by the likes of Cobb, Onuorah, Polley, etc. that Brimah could have taken up.

— Peter Bard

MB asks via email: If on January 20th Villanova is still No.1 and we do the winning thing is a court-storm acceptable?

Yes. For any school who beats the #1 team in the country, it’s OK to storm the court. I don’t care if you’re #2 in the country. It’s a huge win. This athletic department is having a hard time getting fans excited about much of anything, so I’m certainly not going to look down at people who want to celebrate an exciting moment.

— Peter

Penfield asks: What does Kevin Ollie want for Christmas?

Probably peace on Earth or the eradication of cancer — something like that.

— Tyler Wilkinson

Question No One Asked: What do you want for Christmas, Tyler?

First off, thank you for asking. I would like a functioning offense that can score basket balls. UConn’s offense is legitimately depressing. In addition to its well known simplicity (“…probably the simplest scout I’ve seen.“), it’s also just plain bad. The Huskies are shooting 31.6 percent on threes (281st in the nation) and 45.9 percent on twos (282nd in the nation). They’re slow; they turn the ball over too much; they can’t get themselves or each other open shots (348th in the country in assist percentage). I would let Santa pummel me over the head with a sack of stainless steel cruets (or whatever the kids are asking for these days) in exchange for a UConn offense that doesn’t make me feel like I’m watching C-SPAN on Ambien. Also, I’d like a Power Wheels.

— Tyler

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