Welcome back to the A Dime Back Heckler’s Guide: the weekly post where I step out of my glass house, throw some stones in the direction of UConn’s upcoming non-service academy opponent, then quietly step back inside. This week’s target is Missouri.
Imagine for a moment that at the end of every football season, the Division I national champion faced the Division II national champion in a game that was supposed to determine the best team in the country. That’s insane, right? Well, what if I told you that something kinda similar was already happening?
Turn your attention to the Southeastern Conference.
The SEC, which routinely boasts the best college football in the country, is broken into two divisions: the west (home to Alabama, Auburn, LSU and Texas A&M) and the east (home to Kentucky and Vanderbilt). The winner of each division plays in the SEC championship game.
It shouldn’t surprise you that the west has won each of the last six championship games, including last year, when our target for the week marched into the Georgia Dome and lost to Alabama, 42-13. Meanwhile Mississippi State (ranked seventh by the playoff selection committee) and Ole Miss (ninth) didn’t even get a chance to play for the title.
Simply put, the Tigers benefited from a stupid rule, embarrassed themselves in the opportunity given to them AND screwed a conference mate in the process.
Moving on!
In my research for this week’s Heckler’s Guide, I came across a column with the headline “Missouri doesn’t have a quarterback controversy.” I don’t think there’s any better indication that Missouri has a quarterback controversy.
TL:DR version: true freshman Drew Lock has been elevated to the second spot on the depth chart, supposedly putting pressure on quarterback Maty Mauk to step his game up. Mauk threw two interceptions and completed just 16 of 36 passes last week.
Speaking of last week… the Tigers escaped with a 27-20 win over Arkansas State. For reference, Arkansas State lost to USC, 55-6 in its season opener.
More fun:
• I wasn’t sure if I should focus this week’s alumni spotlight on Rush Limbaugh or former Enron CEO Kenneth Lay. Then I dug a little deeper into Wikipedia and found astronomer Thomas Jefferson Jackson See, who has probably the greatest opening paragraph in all of Wikipedia:
• Do something fun with this goofy photo of their chancellor, Richard Bowen Loftin.
• Things are going pretty well for head coach Gary Pinkel, but that hasn’t always been the case. He made news for a DWI in 2011, which cost him a pretty hefty fine. Thanks to the beauty of the Internet, we have video of his arrest.
• Pinkel also went through a divorce a few years back. In that divorce, he got to keep each of his family’s six cars, but was required to buy his now ex-wife a Chrysler Town & Country van.
• Missouri’s stadium is known for its Rock M behind one of the endzones. Fans of other teams have rearranged the rocks to represent other letters in the past (N for Nebraska, K for Kansas, etc.). Please keep this in mind if attending with your drunken friends.
• Here’s something terrifying. The ladies’ shooting club at Mizzou in 1934.
You can prepare for the game on Saturday by re-watching Kemba Walker’s breakout performance against the Tigers in the 2009 Elite Eight.
