Casey Cochran’s career is over. UConn got thumped by the only FBS opponent it has faced this year. The Huskies narrowly avoided disaster against Stony Brook last week.
There are a lot of reasons to doubt UConn football right now.
But there is one area where the Huskies still shine. One area where they are infinitely better than their Saturday opponent.
UConn is tied with dozens of teams across the country for first in the nation in Fewest Quarterbacks to be Suspended for Pissing off a Hotel Balcony.
Boise State cannot say the same, and that is where we start this week’s heckler’s guide.
Yes, Joe Southwick was dismissed from the program for urinating off a hotel balcony shortly before the team’s bowl game last year.
But let’s be fair. Southwick denies relieving himself in perhaps the ballsiest way possible and even claims to have taken a polygraph that proved he was telling the truth. He says he witnessed a teammate doing it but did not participate in giving an entire hotel lobby a golden shower.
Also in the effort of staying fair, there’s a ton more to Boise State than players who accuse each other of whipping it out in public.
- The US News and World Report National University Rankings came out this week and UConn was ranked 58th Not bad. Boise State did not quite make the cut. As in they were unranked. Like they are in football (I know UConn is unranked too, but at least we expect that).
- Boise State grad and current Idaho governor Butch Otter may have a hilarious name, but his own antics prove to be even funnier. In 1992, Otter was pulled over for suspicion of driving under the influence. He claimed he was pulled over after swerving while reaching for his cowboy hat. Is that not funny enough for you? Here are the excuses he gave for failing the field sobriety test (thank you Wikipedia):
- His feet were stung by weeds and gravel
- He had run eight miles and his knees hurt
- He was hungry
- He had soaked his chewing tobacco in Jack Daniels, which is apparently a thing and apparently in some way acceptable?
- In the school’s fight song, Boise State calls itself B-S-U three times. At least they own their bullshit.
- In Boise, it is forbidden to fish from a giraffe’s back. I didn’t know they had water, let alone giraffes.
- Connecticut is 1/15 the size of Idaho and has nearly twice the electoral votes. In other words, Idaho cannot really be considered civilization.
- The XL Center might be a dump, but at least it’s not named after the world’s most popular diarrhea warehouse.
- Not a fan of the current nightmare Jonathan? Or old Jonathan? Or anthropomorphic musket Jonathan? Relax. At least we don’t have to deal with Buster Bronco, which is apparently the ghost of Francis Ford Coppola’s horse.
And lastly, the blue field. What are they, smurfs?
