Help Find Charlie Villanueva’s Toilet

(Villanueva's twitter)

Treachery was afoot in Dallas last evening as at least one (possibly as many 855) thieves entered the home of former UConn forward Charlie Villanueva to do crimes.

As you can see above, the Dallas police are not taking this matter seriously so we are asking you — the readers of Russ Steinberg’s A Dime Back Dot Com — to help. We must infiltrate this crime syndicate, learn their ways, bring them to justice and return Charlie’s belongings, most importantly…

we need to find Charlie’s toilet.

Yes, we do have some questions. What brand of toilet? Was it signed by any famous celebrities or athletes? Was the toilet decoupaged to be festive for the holidays? Does the toilet have significant sentimental value? Assuming the answer to all of the above is yes, please start hunting ebay, craig’s list and all toilet resellers in the Dallas/Fort Worth area keeping an eye out for the missing toilet. (Note: it also could be the made from the skull of some prehistoric monster.)

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Help return Charlie’s powder room to glory.

It’s so empty. So pointless. A sink? No. It’s up to us now. We can not let these hooligans, these rascals, do this to Charlie.

Charlie Villanueva helped UConn win the 2004 National Championship. Now it’s our turn to help him find his toilet.