With First Night in the rearview mirror, the National Champion UConn Women will soon begin the formality that is their regular season. Before the season officially begins with a trip to UC Davis on November 14th, the A Dime Back crew gathered to discuss the upcoming season, and make some horrible predictions — roundtable style. Read our Men’s Basketball season preview here.
TEAM’S BEST QUALITY?
Russell Steinberg, Staff Writer (@Russ_Steinberg):
The win column.
Meghan Bard, Staff Writer (@MeghanBard):
Breanna. Fucking. Stewart. Stewie is the best player in women’s college basketball right now, and number two isn’t even close. She’s just going to own everyone every game, and I will love every second of it.
Tyler Wilkinson, Staff Writer (@ADimeBack):
General superhumanism. If you’re looking for something more tangible, this team will be the most precise team in America when it comes to play execution, aided by their insane passing skills.
Peter Bard, Staff Writer (@PKBard):
They’re just way better than everyone else.
TEAM’S WORST QUALITY?
Meghan:
The front court isn’t so deep. Losing Stef Dolson, both for what she brought to the court and in terms of leadership, morale and dance moves leaves a big hole. Kiah Stokes is the only true center on the team, with Natalie Butler forced to sit out this season because the NCAA is stupid. But I’m pretty sure Stewie could beat all the other teams if she was playing with, ya know, me. So I’m not worried.
Russell:
Assistant director of women’s basketball administration Kevin Demille. It’s only his first season and doesn’t even have a bio up on uconnhuskies.com.
Tyler:
Ummmm. I guess it’s depth, but it’s all relative. UConn’s 6-11 could start for dozens of teams.
Peter:
Games are generally boring.
TEAM MOST LIKELY TO LOSE TO UCONN BY LESS THAN 15 POINTS?
Tyler:
I guess it’s Notre Dame but the Stanford game (in California, 9pm start) is one to watch.
Russell:
St. John’s. It’s gonna be someone sneaky. They’ll be fired up enough to pull away late from Notre Dame, Duke and Stanford. It’ll take a good-not-great team like St. John’s, at home, in an afternoon tip at an empty MSG to really put a scare into them. And by a scare, I mean like a 12-point halftime lead that gets up to 25 before St. John’s gets it down to around 15 by the end.
Peter:
The games at Stanford and at Notre Dame are early in the season, but we’re returning three starters and a reserve who played a ton of minutes, so I don’t think we’ll have an issue “gelling.” I guess at Stanford would be the pick, but one of those.
Meghan:
Notre Dame might get within 15. Might. The Irish got their asses whooped in the NCAA Finals, and you know how much Muffet McGraw haaaaates Geno, so they’re going to get up for this one. But they will lose. And I will laugh.
NEW COACH TO HATE
Tyler:
Can we just hate Muffet? Let’s not overthink this.
Meghan:
I’m going to keep right on hating Muffet, because she just gives me so much to work with. Crankypants.
Peter:
I’m not allowed to hate Pat Summit anymore, right? How about Cori Close? I know nothing about her, but that just means that she’s a blank canvas on which I can draw all new hate.
Russell:
Tulsa’s Matilda Mossman, because I don’t quite know what to make of this tweet.
So this is big time college b-ball…in #wafflehouse charging my phone, waiting to make a home visit so I can fly bk home b4 midnight.
— Matilda Mossman (@TUcoachMoss) September 18, 2014
FIRST AND SECOND TEAM ALL AMERICANS
Russell:
First team: Stewie and KML. Fun note about KML: when I type FML on my phone, it autocorrects to KML. What an awesome human. Second team: Moriah Jefferson, who made a run at a bunch of crazy UConn records last season as a sophomore. She will also win the Nancy Lieberman award.
Meghan:
Stewie and KML are lock First Team All-Americans. I think Moriah Jefferson has a shot at the Second Team. (Did you guys see her trying to challenge Amida Brimah during First Night? I love that girl.)
Tyler:
Stewart’s a layup for First Team. I’ll say Moriah Jefferson gets on there too. Kaleena Mosqueda-Lewis makes Second Team.
Peter:
First Team: Stewie and KML. Second Team: Jefferson and Stokes.
BREAKOUT PLAYER
Peter:
Gabby Edwards, if she stays healthy, will very quickly be a star.
Meghan:
Freshman Courtney Ekmark is being talked about as an insane shooter. I can see her having some crazy games where she gets like 30 points or some nonsense.
Tyler:
While I think Jefferson takes a huge step forward, I’m not sure that counts as a breakout. So I’ll say Saniya Chong.
Russell:
Saniya Chong.
CREATE A GENOISM
Peter:
Something snarky about how much better he is than everyone else, but disguised as not that. Something like “I don’t know how we won by so much. I thought we stunk tonight.” after a 30-point drubbing of some top-5 team.
Russell:
“I’d be happy to sit down with Muffet sometime in April and work out our differences, but I’ll be busy.”
Meghan:
“Come and see me when you’ve won nine National Championships. Then we’ll talk.”
Tyler:
“Muffet wouldn’t know how to defend Stewie even if she found our playbook at the bottom of her knockoff Chanel bag.”
WHERE WILL STEWART FINISH THE SEASON ON THE “BEST ALL-TIME” LIST
Tyler:
Taurasi and Moore are 1-2. Assuming Stewart pilots this team to ring number 3, I’d have her in the 3-5 range with Bird and Lobo. One year from now, we’ll be debating if she ends up at the top of the list.
Peter:
Third, after Diana and Maya Moore, probably.
Meghan:
She’ll be top three at this point. If she wins another title, she’ll have passed Maya Moore (2) and tied Diana Taurasi (3). I don’t think she passes either of them on the all-time stats sheets this season, but after her senior year, I think this argument will be moot.
Russell:
She’ll be No. 1 by the end of NEXT season as the only player to win four championships and be named Final Four MOP four times, so who really cares? But in the event that she declares for the NBA Draft after this season (possible), I’ll put her behind Taurasi and Maya. Then when she’s drafted by the Sixers and and lights up the league, I’ll change my mind.
COMPARE YOUR THREE-PEATS! (2002-04/2013-15)
Meghan:
I was in college during the first two titles of the three-peat (as well as the 2000 ship) so I’ll go with the first. D (What? Ally calls her D. I’m calling her D, too. Shut up.) rolled around campus with her signature bun, won national titles and I put her on the front page of the Daily Campus. We’ve got history. The first one is always the best.
Russell:
I’m not quite as old as Meghan, so I wasn’t of college age during the last three-peat. That said, the first one will always hold a special place in our cold, black hearts. But to this group’s credit, look how fucking dominant it is. We all assume that we’re in for another undefeated season. I don’t think any team can realistically hope to even play them close. God damnit this is fun.
Tyler:
You never forget your first time.
Peter:
02/03/04 will never be touched. DT is a legend.
STEF DOLSON AWARD FOR GENERAL AWESOMENESS
Peter:
Moriah Jefferson will be the most fun player on the team next year. She’s small, she’s wily, and she’s quick.
Meghan:
I will preface this by saying I will miss Big Momma Stef more than any player ever, because who else will dye their hair purple and do stuff like this? Someone better step it up, and if First Night is any indication, Moriah has some serious moves. Get it, girl.
Tyler:
Fuck it, I’m giving every award to Jefferson.
Russell:
Stef Dolson, taking her awesomeness to DC. Second place: Teirney Lawlor. She’ll get into a game sometime early in the season, inexplicably light it up, get some confidence and be the fan favorite for the rest of the year.
WILD CARD – MAKE ANY OTHER PREDICTION
Peter:
Meghan will complain 30 times about Stewie not dunking during a game.
Meghan:
Stewie will dunk in a game. Geno will act really pissed, but secretly he’ll think it’s awesome. And I will lose my goddamn mind.
Russell:
The highlight of West Chester’s season this year will be scoring the first two of the game against UConn in an exhibition, only to fall behind 10-2 by the 19:15 mark and score just three more field goals the entire game.
Tyler:
I will use a thesaurus to find variations of “bludgeon,” to describe UConn’s margin of victory. BONUS: Our podcast producer Alex will be dubbed a misogynist for not participating in this roundtable.
