It’s #RankedWeek here at ADB and it wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t rank something completely weird and stupid and unimportant. Today, because I decided to do my Ranked piece after happy hour(s), I’m going to rank the sartorial choices of one UConn Mens’ Basketball Head Coach Kevin Ollie. Are you ready for this? It doesn’t matter. Let’s get weird.
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10No.
This double-breasted, long-ass suit jacket with pleated pants in TAN is clearly circa 1995, except, wait, no, KO wore this recently and 90s suits – unlike 90s college basketball – are very bad. Burn this suit and let’s never speak of this again.
9Hit me.
I dunno, maybe KO is moonlighting as a blackjack dealer at Mohegan, but the blue jacket/black pants combo is not working for me outside of a casino.
8Criminal Use of Tie Clip
There is not actually anything wrong with this suit, it’s a perfectly nice black suit, the pants are flat-front, the belt is very good, there is some sort of pocket-square situation, but… The tie. First, it is very too short, and second, the tie clip. KO. My friend. The tie clip is meant, not merely to clip both ends of the tie together, but to clip them to your shirt. The clip is on the wrong side and is several inches too high. Tie clips are not just aesthetic, they serve a purpose, and I know at least one male human who would be very happy if you could land the the tie clip thing.
(Honorable mention to KFree here who is rocking this suit and those glasses.)
7This Suit Won’t Leave For Michigan
Warde: “Kevin, this is a perfectly cromulent suit. It’s grey. The pocket square is nice. The tie works. Just get your tie-clip game on point, ok?”
6Patterns & Purv
We’ve got a tie repeat here, but the man can mix a pattern. Purv appears skeptical, but it’s all OK, my dude, KO rocks it, is what I’m saying.
5Dinger Of A Suit
I am here for a pinstripe, my friends, and it’s not just my preference for Yankees baseball talking here. Grey looks great on KO, and the blue patterned tie is very nice but points are lost for the pleated pants. Just say no to pleats.
4Don’t Try This At Home
I like this purple suit. Now, if you’re reading this, you should not take the previous sentence as license to wear a purple suit. You’re not Kevin Ollie. You can’t wear a purple suit.
3Bring The Pane
Grey windowpane, yes, this is good. The purple polka dot tie is nice, and I can almost overlook the fact that the tie clip is on the wrong side (because the shirt buttons the other way, ya dig?)
2Nice Suit [Clap Clap]
This is a good suit. Navy, with a subtle pattern, it’s classy without being stuffy. It may be a touch too tight across the biceps, but I’m not even mad at that. I dig the polka dot tie. Not sure what that pin is, but it’s fine, whatever.
1The 2014 NCAA Tournament Of Suits
By now you shouldn’t be shocked — though KO looks it in the picture — but I am extremely here for patterned suits, and the fit on this jacket is impeccable. Not everyone can pull off this look, but KO can, and I am in full support of that pocket square as well. Thumbs up.
OK, that’s it. You didn’t think I actually know what I’m talking about, did you?
