I’ve been going to UConn games my whole life. For a WAY too brief period, my view was from behind my drum set in the Pep Band (best time ever), but for the vast majority of the time, I have sat in the stands with UConn Nation©.
In that time, I’ve uncovered one commonality that every game possesses – and this applies for the women’s games and for the men’s games: old men that think they know everything and make the game less enjoyable for the people around them. Every one of them pontificates on the virtues of the game like they just got back from a workshop with Gregg Popovich. We are all witness to a bunch of skirmishes throughout the crowd to see who can prove they know more about the game.
Note: If you are old and reading this – doubtful – I’m sorry. I realize that I will one day be old. At 31, it feels like an inevitability that is just around the corner, and much of our young readership probably thinks that 31 is already old.
I was with A Dime Back staff writer Meghan Bard at a recent game and some schmuck behind us went on and on about how Amida Brimah is best free throw shooting big man we’ve ever had. When Meghan calmly corrected him and clarified that Jake Voskhul’s numbers are better, he scoffed and said, “You got a phone, look it up,” with a slight sexist tone about him (Meghan was right). I was at the game against Central on Wednesday. I went alone. Going to games alone is a funny thing, and I’ll explain that later, but here were some things I heard:
“Hamilton looks for the assist too much. SHOOT THE BALL!”
You do realize that assists lead to #points too, right? If Hamilton had 20 points and no assists, would you think he played better than having 11 points and 11 assists? If so, that’s some deeply wrong thinking.
“Where’s Breemah?”
He’s injured. If you want to be a blowhard about this team, the least you could do is know that one of our most important players is out for 6-8 weeks.
“Facey offers NOTHING!”
It is YOU who offers nothing! Facey grabbed 12 boards today! Five on the offensive glass! That is something we actually don’t get with Brimah in the game. Facey is a savant on the glass. Just because you saw him be awkward once, doesn’t mean he’s Mandledove redux.
“CMON HAMILTON YOU’RE 3 AWAY FROM THE TRIPLE DOUBLE (Hamilton air balls a three-pointer) YANK HIM, COACH! THAT WAS SELFISH!”
It’s my favorite when they contradict themselves. It happens so much that it’s almost too much yum.
“I don’t get it with this Purvis. Seems like a hotdog. Not a big character guy.”
Who had the casual racism square on Insufferable Basketball Expert Old White Guy Bingo? Seriously, stop it with the whole not liking Purv thing. He’s a fucking treasure.
(Refs call a freedom of movement foul that they always call now) “I tell ya these refs don’t know what the fuck they’re doing. Every year it’s worse and worse.” (While that may be true, it was a foul)
Also, I’m not sold that every year it’s worse and worse. Every year, the refs are given instruction to start focusing on certain aspects of the game. For example, this year, I’m seeing them call a lot of moving screen fouls. It’s nothing new. The first dozen games of the season are kind of a pain, and then teams adjust. Get over it. You’re being very loud and obnoxious.
“Haha look at that kid with alopecia! He doesn’t have any hair!” (amalgam of all the shitty jokes I heard)
Yeah, this just isn’t cool. The kid has a fucking condition. Compounding the lunacy of thinking this is ok territory for a joke? CHARLIE VILLANUEVA is a Husky, and here’s what he said recently about working with kids who also have the condition: “If I can play in front of thousands of people with this disease, it shows kids that you don’t have to hide.”
I mentioned that I went to the game alone. I do this sometimes. My ears were probably just more available to hear this garbage, and that’s why I felt moved to write something about it. In the wake of it all, I’m asking myself some sobering questions. Were these guys always this terrible? Is this what I’m destined to be? Am I already this way sometimes? On occasion, I mix it up with the fans around me…is this what I sound like too? I’ll tell you what, if I ever do become that obnoxious old man talking like this, I hope Meghan Bard is there to put me in my place.
I am an old Alum (47) and I feel your pain. I don’t think has anything to do with age. I believe that it has to do with being an idiot. There are idiots at every age, just older one have more disposable income to attend games. I won’t even attend a women’s game anymore. How can any knowledgable basketball fan listen to grandma ma behind you bitch that Geno pulled his starters and we are only up by 50!