The UConn women will be overwhelming favorites to win the American Athletic Tournament when it begins this weekend. The team has won all 60 of their conference games since the AAC’s inception, and is in the middle of (another) undefeated season.
Yet there is danger in the Huskies growing complacent. Although unlikely, there are plenty of ways they could be defeated. Let’s examine them below.
1. Half-alligator, half-falcon mutant kidnaps Morgan Tuck and brings her to a secret lair in the Amazon.
2. Breanna Stewart ruled ineligible for sneak-fav’ing tweets during the season.
3. Moriah Jefferson returns to her home planet to help her people battle the Drwaprfs in an intergalactic star fight.
4. North Korea invades, Kim Jong-Un wins the tournament, as he wins all things. Dennis Rodman is somehow involved.
5. Geno Auriemma overdoes it on the wine during a pre-game meal and plays Courtney Ekmark one-on-five.
6. General sorcery, voodoo or witchcraft.
7. Chris Dailey reveals the end of her long con. She is a double-agent who has been infiltrating the UConn program and learning their secrets for 30 years. She tears off her powersuit, under which is a USF-colored powersuit. She switches sidelines and leads the Bulls to victory.
8. Kia Nurse gets in a disqualifying hockey fight.
9. The Drwaprfs invade Earth. Stewart is enlisted to defend the planet. They make a movie about her heroics entitled Independence Day.
10. Large spiders.
11. UConn builds an 86-point lead in the first 90 seconds of the semifinal. The referees stop the game and force them to go to Philadelphia to play the 76ers.
12. ESPN somehow ruins it like they ruined the Big East.
13. An eccentric Russian billionaire pays the entire roster not to play. Everyone moves to Kaliningrad.
14. Jefferson and A Dime Back’s Russ Steinberg get into a Freaky Friday situation and Russ ruins everything.
15. The rapture happens. The UConn saints ascend.
16. An evil amusement park owner and his band of monstrous aliens steal the basketball powers of UConn’s players in order to win a game against popular cartoon characters. Because the characters are not part of the Disney franchise, ESPN refuses to air the game. Geno performs “I Believe I Can Fly.”
